“cynics do not contribute, sceptics do not create and doubters do not achieve” – Brian Hinckley
I haven’t written for a while. Maybe because I’ve been distracted building my doTERRA business, (which by the way, has seen some incredible growth over the past few weeks), but I’ve also found the courage to drop that which doesn’t serve me, in whatever shape it takes form in. Aside from the expansive growth I have experienced in my incredible team, I’ve also (by no coincidence) experienced this growth in my life. The person who I am now, is most certainly NOT the gal who posted the previous blog post a whole 6 weeks ago. I know this because she would never have allowed a week to pass without working on her blog. Wouldn’t have allowed anything to ‘slip’ for fear that she would have been disappointing herself.
Crazy I know, because in the big scheme of things, who cares if I skip a couple of weeks of writing for my blog right? The pressure of ensuring that it was posted every week or even every fortnight was suffocating me. It was ruining my ability to create, my ability to rest, surrender and therefore connect with the important people in my life. No matter how hard I had worked that week, if I didn’t complete my to-do list, then I had failed.
Why is it that the negative sticks to our brains (like velcro) and the positive slides off like teflon?
We can accomplish all the goodness in the world, yet if we forget or fail at ONE THING, we crumble in disappointment. I am all for positive thinking, mantras, affirmations, good vibes. But why is it that sometimes, we cling onto that which makes us unhappy, and then dwell on the unhappiness we feel, as if we expect to feel completely different after having taken the exact same steps that we’ve always taken.
For me this looks like pushing, striving, working late nights, early mornings, being VERY YANG (which isn’t attractive by the way) and of course, in my masculine a lot more than I’d care to admit. It seems that to be ‘happy’ and content, we’re willing to drop the things that make us happy and content, and rather work with and for things that make us unhappy and discontent.
Why is this?
Why do we hold onto destructive patterns which we know are’t good for us? and more than that, why do we have the ability to ‘cut-the-crap’ in some situations, & yet other times, we hold onto whatever it is that’s gnawing at us, and allow it to ruin our day, our week, month, year or even our life. Ridiculous really!
Well, It appears that a certain amount of it is biological. If you’re not hard-wired to do so through genetic pre-dispositioning, then the idea of trying to be positive and creative positive things in your life without strategies is nearby impossible. It turns out, that we need to teach ourselves ways to be positive, which then in turn emphasises growth, and in turn makes us happy.
If we have generational patterns of self-sabotage and victimhood, then of course, we will have these situations and circumstances appear in our lives ever-so frequently, because the truth is, that we attract who and what we are, AND what we think about.
So how do we turn things around?
How do we experience more positive emotions without feeling like we’re faking it?
How do we create a healthy environment for happy feelings?
Well we first and foremost start with G R A T I T U D E
This simple word is where everything starts and ultimately where it goes wrong. I bang on about gratitude so much I reckon my yoga students are bored with it’s teachings, but the thing is my friends, is that gratitude cascades down in ways unimaginable. It has the ability to broaden your emotions, your thoughts, AND YOUR your awareness. Showing gratitude and love to those around us uplifts our souls and our hearts.
By saying THANK YOU regularly, by being grateful, you increase your chances of some positive feedback in your life. This in turn reduces stress which in turn builds your self-confidence, & when we’re happy, we increase our resilience, which yet again increases our self confidence.
The next important thing to take notice of what is making you UNHAPPY? What is taking you away from your truth? What makes you feel stressed out? and then more importantly, why are you doing it?
Understanding why it is that we hold on to certain situations, or destructive patterns gives us a real deep understanding of how we’re allowing those emotions to mould our lives. We could habitually stick to a habit that we learnt from our parents, and yet we have no idea how and why we react the way we do.
The best part of this is, that once we know what these emotions are, and why they’re there, then clearing these emotions (by sitting with them and allowing them to pass through us, witnessing them as they pass), and making a conscious choice to change, allows the hurt to heal. That’s when we start living again. Once we’ve healed. The other really ace thing is that once we’ve healed, then (and only then) do we find the good in other people. When we let go of the hurt and let love come in; When we look for the joy and the positive, THE SILVER LINING we get to turn things around in a holy instant.
This is commonly known as EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
To practise the two steps I mentioned above, I use the following essential oils and self care practises:
Gratitude Blend: doTERRA Passion Blend, Frankincense, and Wild Orange. Pop this blend on my pulse points and meditate first thing in the morning. I then journal about all the things I am grateful for.
Self-Assessment: Determine what you’re feeling, and express that through talking to a friend, drawing, colouring, writing, and or exercising. Whilst and or during this cathartic experience, you’ll come to realise what it is that has triggered you to feel these emotions. Was it a certain situation? A person? Was it something that they said? and if so, what core belief is it that you believe that this feeling or emotion comes from.
If you feel that you would like some guidance as to how to release the root cause of your problems, then please email me to express interest in the Next Emotions Mentor Course which I am hosting in Melbourne. You’ll be placed on my VIP list and you’ll get early bird ticket options before anyone else. It’s going to be epic.